He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
