last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
