Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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