sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
