She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
