Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
