STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
