And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
