Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
