Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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