He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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