there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
