this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We are two peas in an std pod
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
