So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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