My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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