I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize