Nicole vs. Life
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
