Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
