Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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