I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
