Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
