spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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