You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I touched a dick in church today
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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