the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
