she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
