I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
