KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
