He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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