i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
