Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
