There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
