i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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