Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
