apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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