Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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