she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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