ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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