Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
