I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
