Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
