that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
