I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
