is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
