the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
