I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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