he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
