oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
