I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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