Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
actually, I'm a sock model
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
