One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
