guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
