Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
