and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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