whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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