Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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