Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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