meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
