Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
