ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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